Captain Diarrhea and the Shartening

You, Carl Bungus, once lived a happy, content life of guzzling energy drinks and slamming pizza pops, wasting away on your couch in your disgusting, roach-infested apartment. That was, until they took you. As part of a human enhancement project, a covert unnamed division of the US military began their trials, on you, subject 21. They cut, and injected, and drained, and spliced, granting you unexpected new abilities. Gross abilities. Realizing that you won't make it out of this alive, you resolve to make them pay for what they've done to you. A top-down action shooter. Use gross and weird movement mechanics and abilities. Survive, and enact revenge on the black military division that abducted you and made you the way that you are.